Love----My belief

Mid-night now
I'm still full of energy
Even if I have class tmr morning
but I don't care ya
I mean I'm sure I can go to school on time (I'm a good student lol)

Sia and I talked about my "love story" again
He really wanna know who is that guy
I know he was curious
But I realllly couldn't tell him
I don't know why
He is my close friend
I can tell him anything but this thing
It wasn't cos I don't trust him
it was cos of myself, my problem

I had experience before
from "that man"
At the beginning
When I felt I like him
I told my closest friend first
then I told my other friends one by one without stopping
I found that I would tell many people as long as I started to tell one
In the end
most of my friends knew that but he didn't
When I came to Sydney for few months
One day I spoke out to him
but since then we became embarrassed
seldom talked online
we couldn't treat each other as friend anymore

Before that
I considered about should I tell him or not
There r two results
one is we can together, be couple
another one is from now on , be stranger
There were no possibility like "friend" at all
I still decided to take chance
and finally, we got strangers 
Although I loved him at that time
but what could I do?
Begged him??
or showed my tears to him??
I wasn't that kind of weak girl
that wasn't me

So now
I find a man I like again
actually I'm not sure yet
But I won't tell anyone
even Sia asked me 
How do I tell Sia or others??
Get the same result like last time??
Lose one more friend and have one more stranger??
I don't wanna take chance like last time anymore
and I gave this man hint already
no matter he could feel it or not
I have tried
I would rather to keep to be friends
pretend nothing happened than be strangers
U know
it was soooooo hurt when I knew "that man" and I have to be strangers forever
Thus now, nobody can hurt me again without my permission
I willing to keep this secret until he speak out first
or I can give up

I'm waiting for a brave man who can tell me he likes me
no matter who is he
At least he has that courage
I still believe someone is waiting for me
maybe now, maybe in the future
I still believe love
I still believe everything is possible as long as love is here

 I completed this article at 3:11am......
 Still not sleepy ya......
 Soooo boring
 then took a pic for fun
 See, my eyes can stared this big
 means I really couldn't feel any tired
 But I have to go to bed la
 Sia, I wish u won't read this artical ya
 Cos if u know after I said "C Ya" to u
 I didn't go to sleep and typed this artical until 3:20am
 Will u wanna kill me??
 Ok, now, I go to sleep......